tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4413603525256803350.post5970417091043880998..comments2024-02-21T04:53:57.234-05:00Comments on Walking in Two Worlds: A Trans Therapist's Journey: She Gave Me Hope a Long Time AgoLauren Elisabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03293724106380438921noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4413603525256803350.post-43762726258655481902016-02-19T18:46:06.895-05:002016-02-19T18:46:06.895-05:00You wrote this so long ago, well it seems long ago...You wrote this so long ago, well it seems long ago when I think of how quickly time passes and how our circumstances change. Your last paragraph touched me deeply, I have always worn my emotions on my sleeve so a tear is nothing new. But what is new is to write this comment regardless of who sees it. In my life there have only been a few people who knew my inner self, you are one of them. I can't find the words to thank you for the contact between us. I am not sure where my life will be 5 years from now, but 5 years ago when you wrote this I was lost and feared I'd never find my way out of the hole I had dug. Fortunately I did and now there is a bright light ahead and knowing you for this short time gives me courage to move forward. Thank you Lauren for being a caring open person and allowing me to be your friend.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06947366911065803213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4413603525256803350.post-38031424326916258722011-11-25T01:34:45.726-05:002011-11-25T01:34:45.726-05:00I'm a genderqueer cismale trans-friend, and I ...I'm a genderqueer cismale trans-friend, and I attended my first SCCATL this year. I've lived in Atlanta for four years, and I've always wanted to go. I used this year to celebrate a return to financial solvency (the NEW "coming out" for many of us these days!). I'm sorry I didn't meet you.VallinSFAShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903851690810215514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4413603525256803350.post-55978025401978420392011-11-19T16:04:26.087-05:002011-11-19T16:04:26.087-05:00I totally understand your knowing that transition ...I totally understand your knowing that transition is right for you and I agree, however, if you consider that there needs to be a protocol to approach treatmentto PROTECT us from health care providers either well meaning but uninformed ( lacks professional competencies to practice in this area of health care), or the unscrupulous preditors that do exist in the guise of helping, but actually exploiting us, then it makes sense to have a standard of care. Really though, would you have open heart surgery without a standard of care? It's a set of guidelines to get it right. It isn't chipped in stone like the 10 commandments. For the professional who is beginning to practice with trans people, it is a safeguard for us so they may safely learn how to work with us and we have a safe path getting to where we need to be. It is important to recognize that we are so few in numbers compared to the general populations that many health care professionals may never knowingly experience the opportunity to work with a transgendered person as most of us live very secretive and compartmentalized lives. Because of that it becomes more critical that a standard of care exists. <br /><br />It appears that you focus on "gatekeeping". That has historically been a problem, but not to the degree it existed even within the last ten years. No doubt, it continues to exist and will always be a factor, but again, if you take the time to read the standards of care they explicitly state they are not to be used as written and that professionals must use them as a guide, but not as a substitution for clinical judgement. The standards exist to facilitate transitioning.<br /><br />Really, you should take the time to read the survey results of the study the National Center For Transgender Equality conducted as a partner with the National Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Discrimination. You can find it at Transequality.org. While you have not had any negative experiences since you have transitioned to full time, you may find that you will experience an incident at some point in your journey. It is more likely than not, especially prior to having your gender marker changed. I consider myself much more fortunate than most trans women because I have had only two negative experiences in the 15 or so years that I have been living publically. I do hope that you never experience any negative public interactions. It may be a sign of a society becoming more tolerant.<br /><br />The experience you have had is not reflective of most transgender people. <br /><br />As in any stigmatized group, it is easy to parse yourself out and "otherize" those who are not interested in transitioning or unable to, yet they are part of the community that we belong to and in a way, it is another example of institutionalized transphobia and internalized transphobia.Lauren Elisabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03293724106380438921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4413603525256803350.post-68525021196389032062011-11-12T18:17:15.143-05:002011-11-12T18:17:15.143-05:00I for one, feel neither shame nor guilt for being ...I for one, feel neither shame nor guilt for being a transwoman, nor does it embarrass me to admit it. There was a time, a year or so back, that I was, but I've come to accept myself for who and what I am and will face whatever may come my way. The guilt that I hold is the same as yours. My wife never deserved not being told prior to our marriage and I don't think that I can ever let go of that one.<br /><br />I'm not sure that I feel we need all of these laws, etc., for our protection and yes, even with the restroom issue. My feeling has always been, if we present well, draw no undue attention, and act accordingly, we go unnoticed. Why then do I need laws allowing me to use the restroom? I've worked way to hard to get where I am today to be expecting the state or federal government to hand it to me.<br /><br />What I totally agree with you on is that we need proper health care! We aren't freaks that should be put away and hidden for life! I have experienced a doctor in the VA that had never dealt with a trans patient and I too had to educate him, but all and all, my care has been good and health care professionals have been wonderfully accepting. I just had the misfortune of breaking a tooth. I had told my dentist a year ago when having a tooth pulled that I was transgendered and on hormones, because I wanted to be sure there would be no drug interactions. My dentist was very okay with it. My recent visit, was the first time to go to the office since I went full time. They were wonderful. Proper name, pronouns, you name it, they were super. My dentist came in and the first thing that she said was, "Valerie, I'm so proud of you for having the courage to be who you are." Of course I told her that it was more like fear of never knowing my true self, but anyway, I was more than impressed! When I was part time and now full time, I never have experienced one bit of negativity from anyone other than my wife since I went full time. My neighbors know, my son, my brother, the office where I live, yadda, yadda. No negative responses. I totally attribute that to blending in with 99% of the women and acting accordingly. No one pays any attention to me and that is exactly what I want and like!<br /><br />WPATH? I like the concept and it definitely helps healthcare professionals that are unaware. Myself, I am a sane, 60 year old adult and I certainly think that I am totally capable of making the decision to have GRS without approval. It is my body....Valerie S.noreply@blogger.com