Do the Gender Police Confront You?

Sheri Berenbaum led a thought-provoking discussion about the often-debated topic of gender differences. An inquisitive crowd kept Berenbaum on her toes as she answered questions concerning whether gender differences are innate or learned. Drawing on over 15 years of research on congenital gender disorders—and using props such as Legos and make-up kits to illustrate her points—Berenbaum challenged the audience to "think outside the box" about the mix of social and biological factors that make us male or female. Sheri can be found on the web and also at her University, Penn State.

The Gender Police have drawn hard lines on people of my experience. We have the extreme Right who would say our very existence is an abomination and we have the extreme left who insist that we must identify as some blend of gender that is neither wholly male or wholly female. I find one as constraining as the other.

I wonder where it came from that if we were free and perfectly healthy individuals that if we identify as women, we are not respected as women or if we identify as men, we are not respected as men. This is the problem of the extreme Right. We simply want to live our lives and be left alone to the right of privacy as any other American Citizen.

The other side of the equation exists from the extreme fringes of Feminism and is solely an extension of Womens' Studies professor Janice Raymond's ideology. Even today as she rewrote a foreward to her book The Transsexual Empire: The Making of the SheMale.  Even with her new forward, which is a rather shallow apology to transsexual women, she still sees us as victims of a patriarchy. She was unable to and continues to fail to recognize that we are woman who for many different reasons ended up at odds with our assigned gender. The majority of these do not involve obvious anatomical variations. For this reason being politically coerced into a continuum known as "Gender Spectrum" includes vastly different presentations because of vastly different etiologies, makes us pawns in a political struggle between Left and Right.

Interestingly, the most negative people about the realities of our lives both as individuals and in varying collectives include the extreme Right and the Extreme Left.

For one group, our very existence on the earth is anathamema. For the other group, our very right to a unified gender identity is sacriledge. I find both extremes both nullifying simultaneously.

At this time in our culture, very few who wish to fall under the umbrella  of transgender identify as gender queer. They have every right to that identity. It's not my identity. I do not consider them to have the same orientation of gender or have much in common with me other than a political desire to be left alone and become the best me I can be.

Similiarly people who feel a mix of their genders but have no burning urge to match their physical being to their identity, may be known as transgenders, crossdressers or by other labels that they define themselves by, have every right to be left alone and become the best people they can be.

Simply put, I am a woman. This is not a sociological statement, nor is it a political statement. It is who I am. There are more women who were correctly assigned at birth and individuals such as myself who were not, but sought to correct that error. I do not identify as a third gender or a fourth or a fifth. I'm just a woman.

This is a dual journey that I travel. I am the gender therapist and the gender patient, I bring my experience, professional and personal to the therapeutic alliance. All therapists do that. It is somewhat more unique for my patients as I am also someone who has been going through a legitimate process per the standards of care established by the World Professional Association of Transgender Health, a body of which I am proud to me a member.

As many of you know, I have been developing a comprehensive health care system for transgender people in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. I have been instrumental in initiating the Speech and Language Department of my health care system to offer voice and communication therapy for transsexuals in order to be able to communicate in a gendered manner that is congruent with our identity.

In announcement to a health care online network, this program was rebuked with a harsh and in my opinion, unwarrented attack. The author of this attack who is a faculty member of a large institution of higher learning, stated that she found it highly offensive that such a program would state that the therapy offered would improve the ability to communicate in a more masculine or feminine style, depending on the preference of the patient. She stated that because of this, she would not wish to refer anyone there for voice therapy.

Personal disclaimer: I was involved in the initiative to develop these services, provided a number of training resources and linked them with other Speech and Language therapy professionals who are members of the World Professional Association of Transgender Health in their field who could be of further help in developing the program that we offer. In my opinion, they have developed a quality program that I myself have participated in and am so more than just comfortable in referring my patients who are interested in these types of services.

What I find to be most outrageous of this experience is the lack of forethought in the reckless condemnation of a service that person has no personal knowlege of, just a blind conviction of an ideology leading to  the same type of rigid results that the extreme right can be accused of (and rightfully so at times).

This is why I always say that I have found as much as bigotry, prejudice and hatred on the far right and the far left.

The issue at hand that I object to is that this person made a judgement that this person knows better for you than you do, therefore would not even grant you the opportunity to decide if this service would be helpful to you or not. Considering the philosophical orientation of this person, I find as much patriarchy in the Third Wave Feminist theory as they railed against in the Second Wave of Feminism. Each wants to control you, just to a different end, but neither will be the one of your own determination.

A pity, isn't it? I've seen absolutely no growth since Janice Raymond. 

Choosing the Right Therapist For You (It's Not As Hard As You Might Think)

Finding the right therapist for someone who is transgendered is not an easy task, as most of you know already. Many trans people would prefer that their therapist not only be well versed in providing transgender care, but also be transgender themselves. As difficult as it is to find a therapist who is well experienced in this area to begin with, the therapist who is transsexual, such as myself, is an even more rare thing to find. As many of you know, my practice is in a rural health care system in the heart of the Shenandoah Valley. I am the only therapist for over a three hour's drive radius who practices transgender care and there are no other therapists who do practice in this area who are transgendered themselves to the best of my knowledge. I do know most of the therapists in Virginia who provide this type of therapy. So when I went searching for my own therapist, I had to find someone who although had no experience specifically in transgender care and wasn't transgendered, yet would be able to provide me with competent care to the best of her abilities.

I did a quick survey of the top 40 graduate programs in my own discipline of Social Work. Of the handful I surveyed, only two had practice course work that had the keyword transgender in the course title. The program I attended at the School of Social Work at the University of Alabama had no courses in this area when I attended (NO! I will NOT tell you the year I graduated!! A lady NEVER reveals her age!!!!).

A therapist who has herself as a patient is a fool. Someone asked me me why I don't do my own therapy in all seriousness and it was a fair question to ask. It's because I lack the objectivity that one would get from a therapist when it comes to myself. The decision to transition is one of the most important ones of my life and I have only one chance to do it right). This might seem like it would be impossible to find someone who could get the job done, but that isn't true. My own therapist has never worked with a transgendered person before me and she has done an excellent job. At this point I would recommend her to anyone seeking transgender care. She has some characteristics that ensured that she would be competent to do the job, and I knew this when I selected her to be my therapist at the beginning of my own care. I want to share with you how I was able to find someone to help me. It isn't that hard when you know how to go about it.

The secret in finding the right therapist for you is really simple: You are hiring someone to do a job for you and you need to do your homework up front, just as you would if you were hiring an electrician or a plumber. There are things you can do to make sure the person you hire is competent to do the job, just as hiring anyone else. Remember, the therapist works for you and you are interviewing candidates to fill the position, just like any other job. This can be an intimidating prospect for most people because they don't have the same knowlege base as the therapist and they don't feel like they can pick someone who will be competent, so they make appointments with someone and see if it works. That can get expensive, especially if you see two or three before finding THE ONE. Plan on interviewing three or four, if at all possible. It's nice to have a number of options.
If a therapist isn't willing to spend 15 to 30 minutes speaking with you on the phone about what your needs are, then he or she will not be a good candidate for you to contract with. When you are interviewing, it isn't so important that you completely understand the answers to some of the questions you ask, just write them down. You can look up some things afterward on the internet which will help you make an informed decision on who to pick for your therapist.

The first thing you will want to do is look in the yellow pages and see if anyone uses the term "gender and sexuality" in their advertisement. That one key phrase brought me tremendous numbers of trans patients when I had my private practice. The other resource was people who found information about me on the internet. A number of websites provide lists of therapists who are competent in gender therapy.

More and more insurance companies are paying for transgender therapy. The easiest way to find out if you will be covered is to call your insurance company or the mental health managed care entity who handles this for your insurance and ask them if the the  DSM IV- TR diagnostic code 302.85 is covered under you insurance policy. Almost every insurance company I am a provider for, with the notable exception of Coventry administered by Southern Health and their mental health managed care company MhNet cover this therapy and that includes Virginia Medicaid and Medicare.

When you are speaking on the phone interview you will want to ask the following questions:

1. Do you accept my insurance plan and what are your rates? If my plan doesn't cover this service, what is your fee for service? (If there are valid reasons that you can't pay the full rate) Do you have a sliding scale?

2. What is your theoretical orientation? There are many theoretical schools of psychotherapy. Some of the major ones are:  Behaviorism and it's derivitives, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rational Emotive Therapy; Humanism; Gestalt; Transactional Analysis; Psychoanalysis and it's derivitive, Object Relations and Feminist Therapy.

My undergraduate education was strongly rooted in Behaviorism and I practice mostly Cognitive Behavioral therapy and Rational Emotive Therapy. I am well versed Humanistic therapy, Gestalt and Transactional Analysis and have a working knowlege of Psychoanalysis and Object Relations, though I only use them to conceptualize therapeutic issues when I find it useful and do not practice their techniques as I have not been supervised to practice in that area.

Over the years I have been concerned when I hear that a therapist describes their therapy as "eclectic". Too often that means that a therapist has not mastered any particular school of psychotherapy and just draws techniques to use in their practice because they feel right to them for the situation. They often can't articulate why the selected a particular intervention and the theory base behind it. Not all therapists who say they are "eclectic" though don't operate without a philosophical underpinning it is just important to know they understand why they select their interventions.

After you have interviewed the therapists you have selected, it's time to hit the internet and look up the information they provided you. You can then decide which therapists' theoretical orientation seem to be in tune with your own belief system and make a wiser choice in your decision.

3. If they have no transgender treatment experience, then enquire if they have worked to any extent with gay and lesbian individuals. If they have experience with them, they are more likely able to be helpful to you. While our issues are not identical to their's, they do overlap to some degree. This was the deciding factor in my choice for my own therapist.

If they do have transgender experience, ask them if they are a member of the World Professional Association of Transgender Health. If they are a member of WPATH, that is the gold standard for transgender care. If they are not, ask them if they are familiar with the new seventh version of the WPATH standards of care. If they are knowlegable of them or the prior version, then you know they are at least well enough acquainted with transgender care that they are likely to be able to provide you with quality treatment.

If they don't, but have other experiences that place them into serious consideration to become your therapist, then ask them to what degree they are willing to educate themselves to be able to help you. Are they willing to dig up resources and learn on their own? If so, you will most likely find a good therapist to help you, though they might be inclined to follow the standards of care more to the letter of the law. That can be frustrating. We all want what we want when we want it in terms of our gender issues and transition and I am no different in that respect, but someone who is going to be careful before signing off on your hormones and surgery rather than just going along with what you want may just be what is best. At least you will be sure they erred on the side of caution, if they erred at all.

Too many of us have rushed into decisions they knew were right for them without consideration how they will support themselves, who will be supportive of them and who will abandon them merely because they are differently gendered. Too many times thre have been disasterous outcomes. Our community has about an 800% higher rate of attempted suicide than the general population and an astronomically higher rate of substance abuse and addiction as well.

I hope that these thoughts and strategies will help those of you who are looking for a therapist. If anyone has any other ideas that will help my viewers, please do contribute your thoughts to the discussion.