Are you a sissy? That is a very loaded question and an emotionally charged topic as well in the world of transgender identies and trans politics. It is an issue that sharply divides those who identify as transsexuals from the rest of the gender community and also can divide the rest of the transgender community from those who identify as sissies. I hope that this article will shed some light on this gender identity in a respectful manner. I believe that while I can't relate to these individuals from my own experience, there are people who identify as sissies and have the right to do so.
So what am I talking about here when I speak of sissies? I'm speaking of those people who usually identify as male, but enjoy dressing and appearing as little girls or in a hyperfeminine way that a woman would not appear. There is no way these individuals are going to pass in public, which is part of the piquancy. A google image search of "Sissy" turns up a lot of pictures of Sissy Spacek. She is an awesome actress.
But pertaining to the topic at hand, the images retrieved are all closely related to female domination, humiliation and other D&S themes. Again, that's fine. I think however they express their sexuality and identity is not my business and everyone has the right to be who they are.
Two years ago, I met a pair of sissies at a transgender conference. They stood out in a convention of people whose identity is that of women with no qualifiers attached to that identity and who are doing everything they can do to blend in with society. In talking with them, I found them to be very nice people. They told me they weren't really enjoying the conference because no one was being especially friendly or attempting to be inclusive in the activities that were going on in the hotel. I doubt that I will see them again at the conference I was attending.
But I couldn't relate to the experience of a sissy identity in the everyday world. I worry about how the public percieves the woman of transsexual experience and if the public sees me and those who identify as sissies as being one and the same. While there is an intersection on the axis of gender identity, just as there is an intersection in the mathmatical model of the X and Y axis, for me, sexuality is not an issue. For the sissy, sexuality is up front and integral to the sissy experience. It includes strong elements of being shamed and being degraded by others. It is an identity that is less than the genetic woman and definately less than a man.
I wonder if this is for most who identify as a sissy a developmental stage in forming a transsexual identity or is it a stable identity of its own? Some women of transsexual experience at some point experience some attraction to the fantasy of forced feminization, usually early on in their life when they are coming to terms with who they are. For them, this is about not being able to take responsibility for who they are and at a point when they feel ashamed of who they are. If it does occur, it is a transient event that fades to black and disappears. It goes away when the woman of transsexual experience knows that there is nothing wrong with her identity as a woman. As a result, feelings of shame and guilt have no place in her identity. Simply put, for the woman of transsexual experience who is comfortable with her identity, the old addage "You can't rape the willing" is true. She sees herself as no different than the woman who was assigned at birth as a female and is comfortable living her life in mainstream society. This is the basis for women (and men) of transsexual experience not viewing themselves as part of the transgender spectrum, but understanding themselves to be very different and not part of a spectrum of gender identities.
Just as sissies have the right to claim their identity, so do women of transsexual experience. We also have the right to claim our own identity as unique and not part of a spectrum. We have the right to our own uniqueness.
I'd be very interested in hearing the views of readers of this blog. I think this is a topic worthy of discussion and reading your comments.